Fluid Management

There is a new and strange thing going on:
Usually, I weigh myself first thing in the morning. A few days ago, I did so, and about 2 hours later I realized that I had to go to the bathroom all the time, and I had nothing to drink. So I stepped back on THE SCALE, and it showed me 2 lbs. less.

?

This has happende three days in a row now, and this was my last result:
134.4
I really like that, by now.

Anyway, there has to be a problem in the fluid management, I guess. Of course I like the fact of going down during the first few hours of the day, but it makes it harder for me to keep track, since I am not staying at home next to THE SCALE waiting for the next chance to jump on it.
But the fluids-only-24h-shift worked fine for me, this time, and this is really a relief. There has to be somthing that makes me lose weight. Being pregnant once in you life cannot mean that your metabolism is scewed forever, this is simply not possible.

But today, to ruin it all, was bad.
There was a company breakfast, which was really important for my department, and I had to be there and talk to people I do not like and talk about things I do not care about and I HATED IT. And pretending does not belong to the things I can do best.
In the end, I just had some food to get it over with, and I did  not bring the blocker tablets since I did not want to eat and I was just too weak.
Dinner with hubby was alright, the usual asparagus, potatoes and some sauce, but he brought me icecream when he got something to eat for watching TV, that´s just his way of doing this. And I could not say no, that would have been too unkind, so I ate the icecream too, but I took a fat blocker afterwards, so I should be good with that one.

I guess the wonderful 134.xx will be gone, and the 135 or worse will meet me tomorrow morning. And then, there will be my willpower neede to stick to the plan I am making right now:

morning latte
some oat bran (need it badly!)
no food during the day, but a low fat yoghurt at hand if I should need a treat (70 cals, OK...)
low cal dinner, I will get something on the way home, then I can decide what to bring and I can get some meat for hubby, if he gets this, he does not care what lies on his plate additionally.
This should make a 4 digit deficit possible.

I remember being bored by this:
Making dinner plans, the same food nearly every day, and constant fluctuation on THE SCALE, but right now, I like it, it excites me, and I am looking forward to every new day. Imagine my determination, if I should ever start losing again, it could be HUGE

Could be....

I cannot believe that once there was a 121 on THE SCALE, right now, this seems really impossible.
And there are all these clothes, waiting in my cupboard, waiting for the day I dare to try them on.... I did twice until now, and it really depressed me... and I still need the one-sice-fits-all-company-clothes.... How bad is that....

I will get off work in June, then I will be able to workout again.... I will run, I hope, there are still some medical conditions left from the birth of my son, and I am always hoping that one day I will be allowed to run again, I saw in my own blog that I used to do this nearly every day some time.... I wish...

Here is my new "wishbook":
- I wish for my clothes to fit me again
- I wish for feeling skinny again
- I wish for THE SCALE to change the secon digit.
- I wish for being able to run
- I wish for me not sabotaging myself constantly
- I wish for strength and determination
- I wish for all beautiful girls and women out there to find a place where they can like themselves for what they are, and not for what they look like. And I wish for me finding that place too.