Food-wise

It´s hard for me to post right now. Food-wise, I am doing awesome, and I am nearing my first goal weight. I am on a 24h shift again and the collegues ordered pizza and I just went away, away from the office, away from the people, into another office, one with absolutely no food around, not even drinks, and I am sitting here, my stomach is raging, and I don´t want to eat. There´s actually nothing around, the pizza is long gone. And I will lose again, I can feel it. Maybe tomorrow I will reach it, the first GW. That could save my day.

In every other department of my life there is crisis management. My mother had to be brought to a hospital because of a minor stroke, my father is at home alone not able to pack some stuff for my mother, and my BF hates me right now. We had a huge fight, and afterwards I was sore and weak. I wanted him to take care of me more often, to be tender and patient, and he simply told me, in many harsh words, that I am not worthy of tenderness or patience. It is my own fault that he treats me the way he does.

This is all very bad, I am feeling totally isolated and fragile. I am functioning at work, but there´s a spot on my soul hurting all the time. And I cannot go home, I have to stay here till next morning. There will be no BF next to me in bed, it will be cold and sterile and isolated.

Food-wise, I am doing awesome.