Turning out fun

My 24h shift was lots of fun so far.

There were a lot of nice collegues on shift, too, and we had lots of fun and we had kind of a picknick in the evening. I could talk and laugh and catch up.

This really makes me feel like a social person again. Due to me living so far away from the city and working so much I am isolated more and more. And due to the food issues, I try not to go to dinner formals and partys with food involved. Actually, not having any friends left is getting to me more and more. Every time the phone rings at home I am not even moving, because all the people are calling for the BF, there is one call a week or somthing coming for me. Of course, this is my own fault, there is no one else to blame. But leaving old habits, even if you don´t like them, is very hard, I guess. I think I would need someone to push me, to make me call my friends, meet them for coffee or go to the movies. I am always tired, exhausted, hungry and weak. And since I am seeing work, my car, and my house only there is a distinct feeling of discontent. And I am seeing my BF´s friends a lot, because he is making plans with them, he is inviting them over, and this makes my time frame for meeting my friends even smaller. By the way, I am not good at telling him what I need in this part of life, because I don´t know it for sure myself.

I´ve been thinking about this for the last few days, and as always, I am making a plan. No, not making, trying to make. There has to be more fun in my life, more social living. I want to laugh, I want to chat, I want to have a life again.
I really need this.
And I need to have this without eating. I am not starting to eat "normally" again just to meet people, that´s a lame excuse.

Food wise, I did semi-good. I had no morning latte, some coffee, some broth, a pretzel, some more broth, and the picknick-food, involving lots of bread and low fat cheese. I think it was not so bad after all, but I feel full and bloated and disgusting, but a part of my heart is happy because of social interaction and fun. Simple fun. Making jokes. Not thinking and talking about problems.
And not thinking and talking about food.

But that´s why this part of my life is a secret part. It needs to be confined.

Tomorrow, there will be formal dinner again, I will once again try to perform the art of moderation. But this will be the BF-dinner day, and on sunday, I will get back to restriction.
Hopefully.