I did it

Did the measurements, ordered the dress, paid for it...

It´s wonderful. I am looking like a real bride....my mother cried....

Well, I got it fit really tight, meaning I could wear it if I would stay just the way I am right now, and if I manage to lose some weight, it will still fit.
Gaining weight prior to the wedding is not an option.

I did exaxtly as planned.
No food during the day, four tiny bites of the cake my mother brought, salad for dinner and a slice of pizza. But the salad dressing was bad, really fatty, and already spilled all over it.... So I did not finish the salad. I guess this sums up to around 1000 cals for the day. this is not really good, but regarding that my parents invited me to dinner this is quite satisfying.

"Fed up" reminded me of the fact that I never could eat little portions when having dinners with other people. I thought something like: OK, the day is already ruined, screw this, just eat as much as possible... And some nights I could not sleep because my whole body was in pain, I could not breath, it was really bad. My stomach tried to explode or something.... I was afraid of doing real damage some days...
And now, this seems to be over, I mean, I can eat little portions, I find reasons to tell the people around why I cannot eat more, I am eating super-slow to leave the impression that I am eating all the time. And I am talking all of the time (this is not good, by the way, because most of the time I am saying stupid things and the BF gets emberassed or something, I am just not that funny or wise or sophisticated or idealistic needed at a special situation or group...). And the formal dinners still ruin the day, but my stomachs stays small and the next day is much easier, there is no pain, no bloated belly, it´s just returning to usual behaviour.
And I forgot about it, meaning I deprived myself of some pride or relieve or something like that. I am so glad she reminded me of that....

Going to bed now, meeting my parents is always hard work for me. Right now, having that beautiful dress in mind, I got much more drive to finish planning the whole wedding, I started to get tired of this some days ago, it´s just so much stuff to do and I still do those 24h shifts and got some additional jobs to do for my carreer, I just got too tired...

I wanted to post some pictures of the dress, but it looked weird with all the needles in it, so we did not take a single picture. You will see it as soon as I got a picture.... I am looking very grown-up and successful in it.... chic even.... Damn it, I will be a bride in August...