Trigger

This immense trigger from friday night worked fine.
133.6 this morning, not great, but OK,
and very little intake today.
No dinner.

But life does not like me right now. No one does. My friend doesn´t like me. My body doesn´t like me, and since today, my hubby doesn´t like me, too.
Told me that I am a danger to my little boy, because I am too selfish to take care of him the right way.
He drank water out of the cat dish, and I really got upset, and since I was on the phone and preparing dinner the same time, I yelled to him, sitting NEXT TO THE DAMN CATDISH, to put the little man in the bathtub. he got angry, there was something stupid on the TV, so I had to do it myself. When I came back from the bathroom, I put the baby on the floor to talk to hubby about not helping me out, and the little one got hold of a cable and some stuff fell down from a table, without hurting him. And this made my hubby think and say that I am the worst mother, I never take good care of the baby, and I should stop tell other people what to do with him, the only time in his life he is in real danger is when he is with me.

There are so many things I could add to this now, I could find so many ways to explain why I am stressed and tired and sometimes doing too many things the same time, and there are so many things hubby could do to help me out, but in the end, it does not matter. He has so many things he does not like about me, and now, the only thing I thought he could not take down, he took down today. Now, there is nothing left.
I simply suck at everything, in his eyes.
And when he yelles at me, he tells me that I am so annoying that there is no other way to talk to me.

I feel so bad right now, there has to be found a new word for that. My little boy is the only thing connected to me that is perfect. And from now on, I will always ask myself if I am a danger to him.
Thank you world for taking the last belief in myself from me.