I did not go anywhere.
I did not do anything.
I did not lose, I did not gain.
I am just not qualified to post here anymore.
Last month I finished a great job deal, meaning I got a new contract, it´s for a lifetime, and there are like 3 persons at my company having such a contract. And it´s really cool, and I am proud of myself.
Weight-wise, I am not qualified.
How can a person being successful in one area of life and a complete loser in the other?
My weight is switching on a daily basis, but not like a pound or two, I am talking about 5 pounds.... I guess it´s the incredible heat and me not having enough proteins, meaning that all my body water sometimes disappears in my tissue, I am looking like an old lady with swollen feet, and the kidneys cannot work the water out. The next day, having more sleep and less water and less heat, the water comes out in the morning and the weight goes down a little, but usually it´s like this:
1. normal weight
2. +5 pounds
3. +4 pounds
4. +2 pounds
5. normal weight.
And this is starting over and over again.
I hate it.
It makes me sick and frustrated and, to be honest, despondent.
And the general movement is down, I guess, but you cannot tell.
Today I had a sun bath, it was really, really hot, and I was sweating big time. Afterwards I stepped on the scale, and it was 119.
I bought myself a gread little cameral, it´s orange and has lots of features and little games you can play with your pictures, and that´s why I decided to post some pictures, you can never tell who I am, but I will do it.
The most interesting thing is:
There is a lady at my work I just met, she may be like 5 years older than me, and she is so skinny that I am absolutely sure that she has an ED.
This week, her husband is on a company trip, and she called in having a gastrointestinal disease, you know, with diarrhea and so on.
Common, be honest: If you husband would go away for a week, would you not try to make a saltwater flush and stop eating and stay at home sick???
I really like her and she is beautiful and her clothes are perfect and I want to be like her. Period. I want to be like her.
I though about dropping some comments now and then, it is over the edge risky, but imagine me having an ED buddy at work.... That woul be awesome, maybe this would stop me from feeling totally isolated. There could be contests and bets and support and understanding, just an office away....
Well, here are my collar bones, and I am wondering why such things are so important to me...
they look amazing.
AntwortenLöschenx
I agree, amazing! And 119? You have lost! Glad to see you back :)
AntwortenLöschenWelcome back! Good to see you here again. Your pic looks awesome. It sounds like you hit a plateau but at least you are not edging upwards. I know...it's hard. I had a skinnie minnie at work before who motivated me just by looking at her every day and wondering if she had an ed.
AntwortenLöschenYeah sounds like you could have fluid retention from lack of protein. I used to get massively swollen from electrolyte imbalance-any salt would screw up my sodium level and I'd retain water like a bitch. Maybe try electrolyte drinks? And try getting some protein in your diet. I know protein can be scary but a can of tuna is so low cal but packs a lot of protein...
AntwortenLöschenI'd love an ED friend, either at work or anywhere in real life. Thing is, anorexia is so competitive, most people with it will not let others into their world and will keep up the competition even under the guise of being concerned for one another (in my experience).
You look lovely. I hope you're wearing a strapless wedding dress! xx